🚀 go-pugleaf

--00000000000068732f062ca252e6
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"

And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie archive
once again.


Here's where you can find this and more LNH v1 Action:

https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/LNH/

And it's some more Martin Phipps's LNH v1 -- this time
#29-30!  First off the LNH gets some therapy!  Will it
do any good -- or is it -- A TRAP?!  And then some
Star Trekish version of that Classic X-Men Kitty's
Fairytale yarn!  Will that also be -- A TRAP?!!!



Anyways...



              _
             | |      Classic
             | |                      =
             | |      ____    ____    _    ____    ___
             | |__   | [] |  | [] |  | |  | [] |  | _ \

             |____|   \__]    \__ |  |_|   \__/   |_|\_\
                                 ||
                                |_|  OF NET.HEROES

                                    ADVENTURES #358



                         =====================
                               LNH #29-30
                         =====================








Newsgroups: alt.comics.lnh,rec.arts.comics.misc,rec.arts.comics.xbooks
Subject: LNH: Examinations
From: phipps@chopin.Physics.McGill.CA (Mastur Martine Phipps)
Date: 27 Feb 93 07:54:40 GMT

You might notice that this is crosspost to .xbooks (especially if you're
on .xbooks right now :)).  Don't worry: I won't make this a habit. :)


                  Legion of Net.Heroes -- Examinations

  "Hi kids!  You know what time it is?!  That's right!  It's time for
.. wREAM AND STIMPY!  I'm wReam and this is Stimpy!"
  "Hi!"
  "WOW, I'm in such a good mood today ... I can't think of *anything*
that could possibly spoil it!"
  "Nothing wReam???!!!  Not even ..."
  "Not even what?"
  "Legion Legion angst angst  Legion Legion angst angst ..."

  "I didn't wake up until he'd finished the whole song ... without so
much as a comma."
  "What other types of dreams have you had?"
  "I dreamt once that I was Ice wReam."
  "Ice wReam?"
  "Yeah.  Doctor, why do I have these dreams?"
  "Why do you think?"
  "Well, gee, no offense but isn't that why I'm here: so *you* can tell
*me*?"
  "Well, one approach is that, in all these dreams, you have no sense
of 'self': you're someone else, drawn from a program or a comic book.
It's as if you're searching for an identity you'd be comfortable with
and so, in the process, you're assuming different personnas to see what
sounds good and fits."
  "wow"
  "I *might* be completely off base though."
  "No, I think you're right: ever since Master Roster Man took over
roster duty, 'RosterwReam' didn't seem to fit."
  "And this troubles you?"
  "I guess so.  I hadn't given it much thought."
  "Not consciously."
  "No, not consciously.  Thanks, Doc!  Thanks a lot!"


  "I am."
  "You are what?"
  "Confident."
  "You knew what I was going to say before I asked."
  "Of course."
  "How?"
  "Because I'm writing this story."
  "How does that make you feel?"
  "Confident ... like I said."
  "Perhaps you can be more specific."
  "Perhaps."
  "Well?"
  "Tell me, Doctor, have you ever stood in a computer room waiting
for someone to finish their work so you can post a story."
  "Well ... no."
  "Well, it's awful.  You have a story you want to post and maybe you're
the only one who'll like it but you don't care because you have to get
the damn thing out of your mind and get on with your life."


  "Look, Doc, I really appreciate this."
  "You do?"
  "Well, part of me does: the Master part."
  "And the Blaster?"
  "He wants to blow you away."
  "Why?"
  "He sees you as a threat, pure and simple.  He doesn't act out of
malice: he acts out of instinct."
  "And you?"
  "I act out of reason.  Doc, I didn't know it'd be like this."
  "Like what?"
  "I only have limited control over the Blaster.  I thought it'd be
different ... I'd be Master when necessary, Blaster when necessary ...
but Blaster wants total control."
  "Why?"
  "That's just the way he is."


  "Shrinks."
  "What about them?"
  "You're always asking questions.  You never give a straight answer.
What do we pay you for?"
  "What do you think?"
  "There you go again!"
  "They tell me that you are hounded by a demon."
  "Oh yeah?  Who are 'they'?"
  "Well, Pocket Man for one."
  "Yeah, well, he's a jerk!"
  "Isn't he your friend?"
  "Maybe ... maybe not."
  "Tell me about Dah Rrik Ulz."
  "Why should I?"
  "You don't have to."
  "You've got that right!"


  "Let's try some word association: I'll say a word and you say the
first word that comes to your mind."
  "OK."
  "Black."
  "Black."
  "No, a different word."
  "Does it have to be?"
  "No, I suppose not.  Tell me, does it bother you when they call you
'Super-Apathy Lad'."
  "No."


  "You don't look very relaxed."
  "I'm not."
  "Why is that?"
  "I've got work to do."
  "Then you'd better go do it."
  "Oh."
  "Something wrong?"
  "I ... like being a Legionaire."
  "But?"
  "I don't always have time."
  "Because you have work to do."
  "Yeah."
  "What work do you do?"
  "Lots."
  "What have you done lately?"
  "Lately?  Well, not much: I still have to get organized."
  "Some might accuse you of procrastinating."
  "Oh, NO!  Look, Procrastination Boy is just the name I go by.  It
doesn't *really* mean anything."


  "I appreciate the work you're doing, Doctor.  I understand how
difficult these people can be."
  "Oh?"
  "Well, yeah.  I mean there's RosterwReam: he's as bad as Super-Apathy
Lad or Procrastination Boy!  Deja Dude's just plain arrogant and Master
Blaster and Sarcastic Lad ... they're just out to annoy people!"
  "Well, as a ninja, I'm sure you have your own perspective."
  "Hey!  I'm not just any ninja!  I'm ... ULTIMATE NINJA!"
  "Of course."


Martin Phipps
aka Deja Dude


            Legion of Net.Heroes #30 -- Deja Dude's Fairy Tale

Deja Dude is in the Lobby of Legion Headquarters.  It is late in the
evening.  He hears sounds from under the reception desk and goes to
take a look.  He finds Curly curled up in a box underneath the desk.

  "Curly?!"
  "Yeah?"
  "Why are you here and not in your quarters?"
  "I like it here."
  "Here?  Why here?"
  Curly smiled sheepishly.
  "Oh, Curly, don't tell me you're here during the day too."
  "She's got nice legs."
  Deja Dude sighed.  "Well, if this is where you want to sleep ..."
  "Deja Dude?"
  "Yes?"
  "Could you tell me a story?"
  "A story?"
  "I mean ... as long as you're here ... I'm tired but I can't seem to
get to sleep."
  Deja Dude nodded.  "Alright."  He sat down in the chair.

  "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Deep Space Ninja and
The Deja Knight were stationed on a space station on the edge of a
wormhole --"

  "A 'wormhole'?  What's a 'wormhole'?"
  "Just think of it as a plot device, OK?"
  "OK."

  "Suddenly, an enormous space ship emerged from the wormhole.  Deep
Space Ninja's eyes widdened as he looked at the viewscreen.
  "'Deja, look!'
  "'Wow ... it's BIG.'
  "'Hail them!'
  "The Deja Knight attempted to hail them but to no avail.  'They're not
responding ... uh oh.'
  "'What is it?'
  "'They're powering up their disruptors.'
  "'"Disruptors"?  What's a "disruptor"?'
  "The Deja Knight shrugged his shoulders.  'As far as I know, they're
like phasers 'cept bad guys use 'em.'
  "'Oh.  Well, in that case, raise shields.'
  "'Shields?  What shields?'
  "'Are you telling me we're defenseless?'
  "'Well, we've got proton torpedos?'
  "'Don't you mean 'photon' torpedos?'
  "'Depends ... who would you rather have sue us: Paramount or
Lucasfilm?'
  "Deep Space Ninja sighed.  'Look, we haven't got time for this!  FIRE
AT WILL!'
  "'Fire at whom?'
  "'FIRE AT THAT BIG @#$%^&* SHIP!'
  "'OK, OK, Sheesh!'
  "BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP
  "'Uh oh.'
  "'Let me guess, we can't penetrate their shields.'
  "The Deja Knight nodded."

  "So was that it?  Were they destroyed by the BIG space ship?"
  "No.  The Deja Knight called upon the power of the Force to protect
the station."
  "The 'Force'?"
  "Another plot device."
  "Oh."
  "Anyway, the Evil-Blackhearted Commander of the BIG space ship wasn't
pleased by this so he had himself beamed over to the space station to
face our heroes himself."
  "Oh, wow!"

  "The Evil-Blackhearted Commander appeared before our heroes.  He
pointed at The Deja Knight.  'The Force is strong in you.  Join me and
we will rule the galaxy together!'
  "'NEVER!'
  "'Then you will die!'  The Evil-Blackhearted Commander activated his
light sabre.  The Deja Knight did likewise.
  "'No,' began Deep Space Ninja, 'you won't stand a chance!'
  "The Deja Knight nodded.  'You're right: here!'  The Deja Knight
handed Deep Space Ninja his light sabre.

  "Deep Space Ninja smiled.  He could already taste the blood of his
enemy.  'Threaten The Deja Knight and you threaten Deep Space Ninja
as well!'
  "The Evil-Blackhearted Commander laughed.  'You are not versed in the
ways of the Force!  You are no challenge to me!'
  "'Prove it!'
  "The Evil-Blackhearted Commander lunged foreward but Deep Space Ninja
blocked his attack, spun and began an attack of his own.  The
Evil-Blackhearted Commander found himself on the defensive and started
to back off.
  "'Ha!  Not so bold now, are we?'
  "'I still can call upon the power of the Force!'  The
Evil-Blackhearted Commander caused objects from around the room to fly
up at Deep Space Ninja.  Deep Space Ninja found himself defending
himself from all sides.  'See?  You were doomed from the start!'
  "Deep Space Ninja smiled.  'I'm on to you're tricks!  This isn't
magic!  Look: there and there!  STAGEHANDS!  They're dressed in black
so that only a ninja like me could see them!'
  "The Evil-Blackhearted Commander smiled.  'Good.  Very good ... but
not good enough.'  He lunged forward at Deep Space Ninja."

  "Oh!  What happened?  What happened?"

  "The Deja Knight came out of his trance: he had been building up power
and was ready to STRIKE!  Lightening shot out from his hands and
enveloped the Evil-Blackhearted Commander causing him to stop short of
disembowling Deep Space Ninja.  Deep Space Ninja took the oportunity
to slice the Evil-Blackhearted Commander from his left-hand shoulder to
his right-hand hip.  He fell to the station floor ... DEAD!"

  "Cool."

  "With the Evil-Blackhearted Commander dead, the crew of the BIG space
ship lost their resolve.  Actually, they weren't sorry to see him go.
In fact, they had a party.  Deep Space Ninja and The Deja Knight were
safe ... for now.
  "The end.

  "Well, Curly, what did you think?"
  Curly didn't make a sound.  Then he began to snore.
  Deja Dude smiled.  "Sweet dreams, Curly."



==========

Next Week:  Hmm.  Something seems different!  Where did all these
              blood splattered pentagrams come from?  And all these
              cigarette butts?  And those sinister shadows that
              look like they're wearing trenchcoats?  Oh no!
              Please don't --  Arghhhhhhhh!!!!!

==========

Arthur "Same Classic Channel.  But Same Time?  Probably not." Spitzer

--00000000000068732f062ca252e6
Content-Type: text/html; charset="UTF-8"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

<div dir=3D"ltr"><br>And we're back in the past and can check the eyrie=
 archive <br>once again.<br><br><br>Here's where you can find this and =
more LNH v1 Action:<br><br><a href=3D"https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/S=
eries/LNH/">https://archives.eyrie.org/racc/lnh/Series/LNH/</a><br><br>And =
it's some more Martin Phipps's LNH v1 -- this time<br>#29-30!=C2=A0=
 First off the LNH gets some therapy!=C2=A0 Will it<br>do any good -- or is=
 it -- A TRAP?!=C2=A0 And then some<br>Star Trekish version of that Classic=
 X-Men Kitty's<br>Fairytale yarn!=C2=A0 Will that also be -- A TRAP?!!!=
<br><br><br><br>Anyways...<br><br><br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 _						<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0Classic			<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=
 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=
| | =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0_ =C2=A0 =C2=A0=
____ =C2=A0 =C2=A0___<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0| =
|__ =C2=A0 | [] | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| | =C2=A0| [] | =C2=A0| _ \ =C2=A0<br=
><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0|____| =C2=A0 \__] =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0\__ | =C2=A0|_| =C2=A0 \__/ =C2=A0 |_|\_\<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=
 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0||<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 |_| =C2=
=A0OF NET.HEROES<br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 ADVENTURES #358<br><br><br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0LNH #29-30<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br>Newsgroup=
s: alt.comics.lnh,rec.arts.comics.misc,rec.arts.comics.xbooks<br>Subject: L=
NH: Examinations<br>From: <a href=3D"mailto:phipps@chopin.Physics.McGill.CA=
">phipps@chopin.Physics.McGill.CA</a> (Mastur Martine Phipps)<br>Date: 27 F=
eb 93 07:54:40 GMT<br><br>You might notice that this is crosspost to .xbook=
s (especially if you're<br>on .xbooks right now :)).=C2=A0 Don't wo=
rry: I won't make this a habit. :)<br><br><br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Legion of Net.Heroes -- Examinations=
<br><br>=C2=A0 "Hi kids!=C2=A0 You know what time it is?!=C2=A0 That&#=
39;s right!=C2=A0 It's time for<br>.. wREAM AND STIMPY!=C2=A0 I'm w=
Ream and this is Stimpy!"<br>=C2=A0 "Hi!"<br>=C2=A0 "WO=
W, I'm in such a good mood today ... I can't think of *anything* <b=
r>that could possibly spoil it!"<br>=C2=A0 "Nothing wReam???!!!=
=C2=A0 Not even ..."<br>=C2=A0 "Not even what?"<br>=C2=A0 &q=
uot;Legion Legion angst angst =C2=A0Legion Legion angst angst ..."<br>=
<br>=C2=A0 "I didn't wake up until he'd finished the whole son=
g ... without so<br>much as a comma."<br>=C2=A0 "What other types=
 of dreams have you had?"<br>=C2=A0 "I dreamt once that I was Ice=
 wReam."<br>=C2=A0 "Ice wReam?"<br>=C2=A0 "Yeah.=C2=A0 =
Doctor, why do I have these dreams?"<br>=C2=A0 "Why do you think?=
"<br>=C2=A0 "Well, gee, no offense but isn't that why I'm=
 here: so *you* can tell<br>*me*?"<br>=C2=A0 "Well, one approach =
is that, in all these dreams, you have no sense<br>of 'self': you&#=
39;re someone else, drawn from a program or a comic book.<br>It's as if=
 you're searching for an identity you'd be comfortable with<br>and =
so, in the process, you're assuming different personnas to see what<br>=
sounds good and fits."<br>=C2=A0 "wow"<br>=C2=A0 "I *mi=
ght* be completely off base though."<br>=C2=A0 "No, I think you&#=
39;re right: ever since Master Roster Man took over<br>roster duty, 'Ro=
sterwReam' didn't seem to fit."<br>=C2=A0 "And this troub=
les you?"<br>=C2=A0 "I guess so.=C2=A0 I hadn't given it much=
 thought."<br>=C2=A0 "Not consciously."<br>=C2=A0 "No, =
not consciously.=C2=A0 Thanks, Doc!=C2=A0 Thanks a lot!"<br><br><br>=
=C2=A0 "I am."<br>=C2=A0 "You are what?"<br>=C2=A0 &quo=
t;Confident."<br>=C2=A0 "You knew what I was going to say before =
I asked."<br>=C2=A0 "Of course."<br>=C2=A0 "How?"<=
br>=C2=A0 "Because I'm writing this story."<br>=C2=A0 "H=
ow does that make you feel?"<br>=C2=A0 "Confident ... like I said=
."<br>=C2=A0 "Perhaps you can be more specific."<br>=C2=A0 &=
quot;Perhaps."<br>=C2=A0 "Well?"<br>=C2=A0 "Tell me, Do=
ctor, have you ever stood in a computer room waiting<br>for someone to fini=
sh their work so you can post a story."<br>=C2=A0 "Well ... no.&q=
uot;<br>=C2=A0 "Well, it's awful.=C2=A0 You have a story you want =
to post and maybe you're<br>the only one who'll like it but you don=
't care because you have to get<br>the damn thing out of your mind and =
get on with your life."<br><br><br>=C2=A0 "Look, Doc, I really ap=
preciate this."<br>=C2=A0 "You do?"<br>=C2=A0 "Well, pa=
rt of me does: the Master part."<br>=C2=A0 "And the Blaster?"=
;<br>=C2=A0 "He wants to blow you away."<br>=C2=A0 "Why?&quo=
t;<br>=C2=A0 "He sees you as a threat, pure and simple.=C2=A0 He doesn=
't act out of<br>malice: he acts out of instinct."<br>=C2=A0 "=
;And you?"<br>=C2=A0 "I act out of reason.=C2=A0 Doc, I didn'=
t know it'd be like this."<br>=C2=A0 "Like what?"<br>=C2=
=A0 "I only have limited control over the Blaster.=C2=A0 I thought it&=
#39;d be<br>different ... I'd be Master when necessary, Blaster when ne=
cessary ...<br>but Blaster wants total control."<br>=C2=A0 "Why?&=
quot;<br>=C2=A0 "That's just the way he is."<br><br><br>=C2=
=A0 "Shrinks."<br>=C2=A0 "What about them?"<br>=C2=A0 &=
quot;You're always asking questions.=C2=A0 You never give a straight an=
swer.<br>What do we pay you for?"<br>=C2=A0 "What do you think?&q=
uot;<br>=C2=A0 "There you go again!"<br>=C2=A0 "They tell me=
 that you are hounded by a demon."<br>=C2=A0 "Oh yeah?=C2=A0 Who =
are 'they'?"<br>=C2=A0 "Well, Pocket Man for one."<b=
r>=C2=A0 "Yeah, well, he's a jerk!"<br>=C2=A0 "Isn't=
 he your friend?"<br>=C2=A0 "Maybe ... maybe not."<br>=C2=A0=
 "Tell me about Dah Rrik Ulz."<br>=C2=A0 "Why should I?"=
;<br>=C2=A0 "You don't have to."<br>=C2=A0 "You've g=
ot that right!"<br><br><br>=C2=A0 "Let's try some word associ=
ation: I'll say a word and you say the <br>first word that comes to you=
r mind."<br>=C2=A0 "OK."<br>=C2=A0 "Black."<br>=C2=
=A0 "Black."<br>=C2=A0 "No, a different word."<br>=C2=
=A0 "Does it have to be?"<br>=C2=A0 "No, I suppose not.=C2=
=A0 Tell me, does it bother you when they call you<br>'Super-Apathy Lad=
'."<br>=C2=A0 "No."<br><br><br>=C2=A0 "You don'=
t look very relaxed."<br>=C2=A0 "I'm not."<br>=C2=A0 &qu=
ot;Why is that?"<br>=C2=A0 "I've got work to do."<br>=C2=
=A0 "Then you'd better go do it."<br>=C2=A0 "Oh."<b=
r>=C2=A0 "Something wrong?"<br>=C2=A0 "I ... like being a Le=
gionaire."<br>=C2=A0 "But?"<br>=C2=A0 "I don't alwa=
ys have time."<br>=C2=A0 "Because you have work to do."<br>=
=C2=A0 "Yeah."<br>=C2=A0 "What work do you do?"<br>=C2=
=A0 "Lots."<br>=C2=A0 "What have you done lately?"<br>=
=C2=A0 "Lately?=C2=A0 Well, not much: I still have to get organized.&q=
uot;<br>=C2=A0 "Some might accuse you of procrastinating."<br>=C2=
=A0 "Oh, NO!=C2=A0 Look, Procrastination Boy is just the name I go by.=
=C2=A0 It <br>doesn't *really* mean anything."<br><br><br>=C2=A0 &=
quot;I appreciate the work you're doing, Doctor.=C2=A0 I understand how=
 <br>difficult these people can be."<br>=C2=A0 "Oh?"<br>=C2=
=A0 "Well, yeah.=C2=A0 I mean there's RosterwReam: he's as bad=
 as Super-Apathy<br>Lad or Procrastination Boy!=C2=A0 Deja Dude's just =
plain arrogant and Master<br>Blaster and Sarcastic Lad ... they're just=
 out to annoy people!"<br>=C2=A0 "Well, as a ninja, I'm sure =
you have your own perspective."<br>=C2=A0 "Hey!=C2=A0 I'm not=
 just any ninja!=C2=A0 I'm ... ULTIMATE NINJA!"<br>=C2=A0 "Of=
 course."<br><br><br>Martin Phipps<br>aka Deja Dude<br><br><br>=C2=A0 =
=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Legion of Net.Heroes #30 -- Deja Dude&#3=
9;s Fairy Tale<br><br>Deja Dude is in the Lobby of Legion Headquarters.=C2=
=A0 It is late in the<br>evening.=C2=A0 He hears sounds from under the rece=
ption desk and goes to<br>take a look.=C2=A0 He finds Curly curled up in a =
box underneath the desk.<br><br>=C2=A0 "Curly?!"<br>=C2=A0 "=
Yeah?"<br>=C2=A0 "Why are you here and not in your quarters?"=
;<br>=C2=A0 "I like it here."<br>=C2=A0 "Here?=C2=A0 Why her=
e?"<br>=C2=A0 Curly smiled sheepishly.<br>=C2=A0 "Oh, Curly, don&=
#39;t tell me you're here during the day too."<br>=C2=A0 "She=
's got nice legs."<br>=C2=A0 Deja Dude sighed. =C2=A0"Well, i=
f this is where you want to sleep ..."<br>=C2=A0 "Deja Dude?"=
;<br>=C2=A0 "Yes?"<br>=C2=A0 "Could you tell me a story?&quo=
t;<br>=C2=A0 "A story?"<br>=C2=A0 "I mean ... as long as you=
're here ... I'm tired but I can't seem to <br>get to sleep.&qu=
ot;<br>=C2=A0 Deja Dude nodded. =C2=A0"Alright." =C2=A0He sat dow=
n in the chair.<br><br>=C2=A0 "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far a=
way, Deep Space Ninja and<br>The Deja Knight were stationed on a space stat=
ion on the edge of a<br>wormhole --"<br><br>=C2=A0 "A 'wormho=
le'?=C2=A0 What's a 'wormhole'?"<br>=C2=A0 "Just =
think of it as a plot device, OK?"<br>=C2=A0 "OK."<br><br>=
=C2=A0 "Suddenly, an enormous space ship emerged from the wormhole.=C2=
=A0 Deep<br>Space Ninja's eyes widdened as he looked at the viewscreen.=
<br>=C2=A0 "'Deja, look!'<br>=C2=A0 "'Wow ... it'=
s BIG.'<br>=C2=A0 "'Hail them!'<br>=C2=A0 "The Deja K=
night attempted to hail them but to no avail. =C2=A0'They're not <b=
r>responding ... uh oh.'<br>=C2=A0 "'What is it?'<br>=C2=
=A0 "'They're powering up their disruptors.'<br>=C2=A0 &qu=
ot;'"Disruptors"?=C2=A0 What's a "disruptor"?&#=
39;<br>=C2=A0 "The Deja Knight shrugged his shoulders. =C2=A0'As f=
ar as I know, they're<br>like phasers 'cept bad guys use 'em.&#=
39;<br>=C2=A0 "'Oh.=C2=A0 Well, in that case, raise shields.'<=
br>=C2=A0 "'Shields?=C2=A0 What shields?'<br>=C2=A0 "'=
;Are you telling me we're defenseless?'<br>=C2=A0 "'Well, =
we've got proton torpedos?'<br>=C2=A0 "'Don't you mean=
 'photon' torpedos?'<br>=C2=A0 "'Depends ... who would=
 you rather have sue us: Paramount or <br>Lucasfilm?'<br>=C2=A0 "D=
eep Space Ninja sighed. =C2=A0'Look, we haven't got time for this!=
=C2=A0 FIRE<br>AT WILL!'<br>=C2=A0 "'Fire at whom?'<br>=C2=
=A0 "'FIRE AT THAT BIG @#$%^&* SHIP!'<br>=C2=A0 "'=
;OK, OK, Sheesh!'<br>=C2=A0 "BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP<br>=C2=A0 &qu=
ot;'Uh oh.'<br>=C2=A0 "'Let me guess, we can't penetra=
te their shields.'<br>=C2=A0 "The Deja Knight nodded."<br><br=
>=C2=A0 "So was that it?=C2=A0 Were they destroyed by the BIG space sh=
ip?"<br>=C2=A0 "No.=C2=A0 The Deja Knight called upon the power o=
f the Force to protect<br>the station."<br>=C2=A0 "The 'Force=
'?"<br>=C2=A0 "Another plot device."<br>=C2=A0 "Oh.=
"<br>=C2=A0 "Anyway, the Evil-Blackhearted Commander of the BIG s=
pace ship wasn't<br>pleased by this so he had himself beamed over to th=
e space station to<br>face our heroes himself."<br>=C2=A0 "Oh, wo=
w!"<br><br>=C2=A0 "The Evil-Blackhearted Commander appeared befor=
e our heroes.=C2=A0 He <br>pointed at The Deja Knight. =C2=A0'The Force=
 is strong in you.=C2=A0 Join me and<br>we will rule the galaxy together!&#=
39;<br>=C2=A0 "'NEVER!'<br>=C2=A0 "'Then you will die=
!' =C2=A0The Evil-Blackhearted Commander activated his<br>light sabre.=
=C2=A0 The Deja Knight did likewise.<br>=C2=A0 "'No,' began De=
ep Space Ninja, 'you won't stand a chance!'<br>=C2=A0 "The=
 Deja Knight nodded. =C2=A0'You're right: here!' =C2=A0The Deja=
 Knight <br>handed Deep Space Ninja his light sabre. =C2=A0<br><br>=C2=A0 &=
quot;Deep Space Ninja smiled.=C2=A0 He could already taste the blood of his=
 <br>enemy. =C2=A0'Threaten The Deja Knight and you threaten Deep Space=
 Ninja<br>as well!'<br>=C2=A0 "The Evil-Blackhearted Commander lau=
ghed. =C2=A0'You are not versed in the<br>ways of the Force!=C2=A0 You =
are no challenge to me!'<br>=C2=A0 "'Prove it!'<br>=C2=A0 =
"The Evil-Blackhearted Commander lunged foreward but Deep Space Ninja<=
br>blocked his attack, spun and began an attack of his own.=C2=A0 The <br>E=
vil-Blackhearted Commander found himself on the defensive and started<br>to=
 back off.<br>=C2=A0 "'Ha!=C2=A0 Not so bold now, are we?'<br>=
=C2=A0 "'I still can call upon the power of the Force!' =C2=A0=
The <br>Evil-Blackhearted Commander caused objects from around the room to =
fly<br>up at Deep Space Ninja.=C2=A0 Deep Space Ninja found himself defendi=
ng<br>himself from all sides. =C2=A0'See?=C2=A0 You were doomed from th=
e start!'<br>=C2=A0 "Deep Space Ninja smiled. =C2=A0'I'm o=
n to you're tricks!=C2=A0 This isn't <br>magic!=C2=A0 Look: there a=
nd there!=C2=A0 STAGEHANDS!=C2=A0 They're dressed in black<br>so that o=
nly a ninja like me could see them!'<br>=C2=A0 "The Evil-Blackhear=
ted Commander smiled. =C2=A0'Good.=C2=A0 Very good ... but<br>not good =
enough.' =C2=A0He lunged forward at Deep Space Ninja."<br><br>=C2=
=A0 "Oh!=C2=A0 What happened?=C2=A0 What happened?"<br><br>=C2=A0=
 "The Deja Knight came out of his trance: he had been building up powe=
r<br>and was ready to STRIKE!=C2=A0 Lightening shot out from his hands and =
<br>enveloped the Evil-Blackhearted Commander causing him to stop short of<=
br>disembowling Deep Space Ninja.=C2=A0 Deep Space Ninja took the oportunit=
y<br>to slice the Evil-Blackhearted Commander from his left-hand shoulder t=
o<br>his right-hand hip.=C2=A0 He fell to the station floor ... DEAD!"=
<br><br>=C2=A0 "Cool."<br><br>=C2=A0 "With the Evil-Blackhea=
rted Commander dead, the crew of the BIG space<br>ship lost their resolve.=
=C2=A0 Actually, they weren't sorry to see him go.<br>In fact, they had=
 a party.=C2=A0 Deep Space Ninja and The Deja Knight were<br>safe ... for n=
ow.<br>=C2=A0 "The end.<br><br>=C2=A0 "Well, Curly, what did you =
think?"<br>=C2=A0 Curly didn't make a sound.=C2=A0 Then he began t=
o snore.<br>=C2=A0 Deja Dude smiled. =C2=A0"Sweet dreams, Curly."=
<br><br><br><br>=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br><br>Next Week: =C2=A0Hmm.=
=C2=A0 Something seems different!=C2=A0 Where did all these<br>=C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 blood splattered pentagrams come fro=
m?=C2=A0 And all these<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =
cigarette butts?=C2=A0 And those sinister shadows that<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=
=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 look like they're wearing trenchcoats?=
=C2=A0 Oh no!<br>=C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 =C2=A0 Please do=
n't -- =C2=A0Arghhhhhhhh!!!!!<br><br>=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D<br>=
<br>Arthur "Same Classic Channel.=C2=A0 But Same Time?=C2=A0 Probably =
not." Spitzer </div>

--00000000000068732f062ca252e6--