🚀 go-pugleaf

Viruses to be looking for:


 BOBBIT VIRUS: Removes a vital part of your hard disk then re-attachs
        it. (But that part will never work again.)

 OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB,
        and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

 AT&T VIRUS: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you
         are getting.

 MCI VIRUS: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too
         much for the AT&T virus.

 PAUL REVERE VIRUS: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It
        warns you of impending hard disk attack---once if by LAN,
         twice if by C:>.

 POLITICALLY CORRECT VIRUS: Never calls itself a "virus", but instead
         refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."

 RIGHT TO LIFE VIRUS: Won't allow you to delete a file, regardless of
         how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires
         you to first see a counsellor about possible alternatives.

 ROSS PEROT VIRUS: Activates every component in your system, just
         before the whole damn thing quits.

 MARIO CUOMO VIRUS: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

 TED TURNER VIRUS: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

 ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be
        back.

 DAN QUAYLE VIRUS: Prevents your system from spawning any child process
         without joining into a binary network.

 DAN QUAYLE VIRUS #2: Their is sumthing rong wit your komputer, ewe
         jsut cant figyour out watt!

 GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic
         software says everything is fine.

 NEW WORLD ORDER VIRUS: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people
         really mad just thinking about it.

 FEDERAL BUREAUCRAT VIRUS: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of
         little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of
         which claim to be the most important part of your computer.

 GALLUP VIRUS: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent
         of their data 14 percent of the time. (plus or minus a 3.5
         percent margin of error.)

 TERRY RANDLE VIRUS: Prints "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose
         "Abort" from the "Abort" "Retry" "Fail" message.

 TEXAS VIRUS: Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.

 ADAM AND EVE VIRUS: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

 CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically
         with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for
         the problem.

 AIRLINE VIRUS: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

 FREUDIAN VIRUS: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own
         motherboard.

 PBS VIRUS: Your programs stop every few minutes to ask for money.

 ELVIS VIRUS: Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self
         destructs; only to resurface at shopping malls and service
         stations across rural America.

 OLLIE NORTH VIRUS: Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.

 NIKE VIRUS: Just does it.

 SEARS VIRUS: Your data wont appear unless you buy new cables, power
         supply and a set of shocks.

 JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS: Your programs can never be found again.

 CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS #2: Runs every program on the hard drive
         simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish
         anything.

 KEVORKIAN VIRUS: Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.

 IMELDA MARCOS VIRUS: Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot up,
         then subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it all
         on expensive shoes it purchases through Prodigy.

 STAR TREK VIRUS: Invades your system in places where no virus has gone
         before.

 HEALTH CARE VIRUS: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and
         sends you a bill for $4,500.

 GEORGE BUSH VIRUS: It starts by boldly stating, "Read my docs....No new
         files!" on the screen. It proceeds to fill up all the free space
         on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the
         Congressional Virus.

 CLEVELAND INDIANS VIRUS: Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a
         286/AT.

 LAPD VIRUS: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC
         and erases them in "self defense".

 CHICAGO CUBS VIRUS: Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last
         in the reviews, but you still love it.

 ORAL ROBERTS VIRUS - Claims that if you don't send it a million dollars,
         it's programmer will take it back.

 Use your virus scan, don't let any of these viruses happen to your PC!

Robert D. Clay                    San Diego State University
Data Communications Manager       Telecommunications and Network Services
619/594-7309 (Voice)              San Diego, CA 92182
619/594-2912 (FAX)                Rober...@sdsu.edu (Internet)