🚀 go-pugleaf

I have collected some past humorous postings from many sources on 
the net, put them in some sort of order and I am reposting them here.

Apologies to the original posters and authors, but in many cases such 
details got edited out in the interest of conserving space.

Apologies if you've seen them before!

Peter Piacenza

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Subject: Computer Users & Courses
========

1: cartoon seen in an old computer magazine:

   Little boy sitting in a pile of diskettes, he's holding
   a horseshoe magnet. Father is in the adjoining room
   doing some take-home work.

   "Dad, you've been jipped. None of these are magnetic"

2: A salesperson hoping to demonstrate to a skeptical corp. how easy it 
   is to use windows.
   "Just point and click" he says. "Just point to the application you
   want and click on the mouse button."
   So the exec take the mouse, lifts it, hefts it like a tv.remote
   points at the screen and clicks the button.

3: Boise State University, College of Technology
   Outreach Programs, Specialized Computer Courses

   "Managing Your Hard Dick"  10/30-12/11   W   $115  5:30pm-8:00pm

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Subject: Computer Questions
========

Q: Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?

A: Because DEC 25 = OCT 31


Q: Did you hear about the Microsoft crystal ball?

A: Ask it something and it replies:
   "Answer unclear.  Add 20 Meg of RAM and ask again later."

Q: How many MS engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, they just define darkness as an industry standard!


Q:  Why don't the British build computers?
A:  Because they can't figure out how to make them leak oil!

Q. Somebody asked me "What happens to programmers when they die?" 

They get deallocated?
Their values become undefined?
The get re-intialized?
Their structues break down?
they become WORM food...
They start dropping bits........
They branch to a new address!
Their social system resources are released?
They dump core? [a coredump is the result of an abort()ion]

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Subject: technical awareness and elephants
========

President Clinton, as part of his goal to increase technical
awareness and interest in the sciences, asked the various major
computer companies to cooperate in a large Multimedia publishing
project.  The general theme was "Elephants".

The piece from Apple was titled: "User Friendly Elephants and
Their Friend, the Mouse".

IBM's: "How to Sell an Elephant to Someone Who Wants a Racehorse".

Novell's: "Connecting Elephants".

Borland's: "All Elephants Should Cost $99".

NeXT's: "Painting an Elephant Black".

Microsoft's: "Why You Should Buy Microsoft Windows".

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-- 
	 Peter Piacenza 
	 Internet: sp...@hippo.ru.ac.za  Tel. 27-471-3022384
	 Internet: ch...@unitrix.utr.ac.za  (preferred).