🚀 go-pugleaf

WANTED TO SELL:

	* * * HOLY GRAIL * * *

		As is.

$50 or best offer.

    I got it cheap at a flea market.  It's the real McCoy, and I thought
I was getting a great deal.  But it turned out not to be so hot from my
point of view.  I'll explain, because I don't want anyone saying how I
cheated them if it wasn't what they expected.

    First, the Grail sheds a pure and holy light.  That's okay, and it's
quite a conversation piece, but it's damn annoying when you're trying to
sleep or watch TV.  Covering the grail with a cloth does not seem to
help for some reason.  (We have been using white samite; perhaps this is
the source of the problem?)

    Second, only the pure of heart can touch or even look upon the
Grail.  Needless to say I do not qualify.  This means that we haven't
been able to dust behind it on the mantel since we put it in there.
Therefore anyone who wants to purchase the Grail will have to come and
carry it away themselves; we will not deliver it.

    Third, every month or so since we have had the Grail, three
white-clothed women have made a silent and eerie procession through our
house.  They also glow with a pure and holy light, and they have no
consideration for any guests who happen to be living in the downstairs
room.  It sure is a good thing that they are silent, because I think
otherwise the neighbors would surely have complained.  We got enough
weird glances as it is.  To top it off, one of the glowing babes is
carrying a spear which continually drips blood.  True, the blood
vanishes ere it touches the floor, but nevertheless I get queasy at the
sight of blood and these women traipsing through my house with their
cloth and blood and light and stuff at all hours of the day and night
are really getting on my nerves.

    Anyway that's the scoop.  Perhaps someone else out there knows how
to deal with these problems and would like to take the abominable cup
off my hands?

               "Things are awry, that's normal"
               --------------------------------
                  tri...@dorsai.dorsai.org